I woke up today praising God for what He has done, is doing and will do and was determined that today was going to remain a day of praise. I guess it is in those times where we are burdened the most. I know friends who are facing difficulties and trials and my heart breaks for them. Then it comes to me. I don’t understand how someone can try so much to do something that is good and right and never seem to get any headway.
I got off of a call earlier this morning and cried, hysterically. It had to have been one of those ugly cries. I have been trying since 2006 to get into a Nursing program. When I applied to the University of Memphis that semester I was told that since I had unsuccessfully completed a course at Liberty University I must return there and retake it with a passing grade. I did this, I took my happy but back to Virginia and retook a Nursing course and lived off campus for that year and paid all that money and passed…YAY!!! After that I reapplied to Memphis several times to no avail. My advisor told me I would be more likely to be accepted if I took some additional prerequisite courses in order to get my GPA up a little higher. So, I did that, because advisors know what they are talking about, right? WRONG, apparently.
After applying last week to the U of M nursing program I received a letter stating that since I unsuccessfully completed a Nursing course in a previous Nursing program I could not be considered eligible for admission. I thought that my transcript must not be complete or there had to have been some mistake. So, I called the nursing program admission office. Well, they returned my call and said that they are aware I retook the class but that it doesn’t matter because once a Nursing course has been failed in another program, the U of M will never consider the student in good standing and will never admit them. I was furious, and I don’t usually get that way. I tried to explain to her that my transfer nursing advisor has been advising me and never once expressed to me that there was any chance that I would NEVER be considered for admission. She told me things that would help my chances when in actuality NOTHING will help my chances, because there are none and never have been. SO my question is what have I been doing the past three years? Wasting my time and money for something that will never exist? I am so frustrated!! My co-workers probably thought someone had died when they heard how upset I was. All I can say is that advisor and the dean will be getting contact from me, and it probably won’t be pretty.

However, before this dreaded call came though threatening to ruin my day and cause me to question God, I read a quote I have posted at my desk.
I guess God was trying to prepare me for the upcoming ordeal because it kept repeating in my head over and over again and I even looked up verses to add to it so that others may get some encouragement from this saying.
So, as I sit here and wonder what the next step is and why my time and money and effort and emotions have been exhausted, I will try to remember.

I am too positive to be doubtful. James 1:6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind.
Too optimistic to be fearful. Isaiah 35: 4 Say to those who have an anxious heart, "Be strong; fear not! Behold, your God will come with vengeance, with the recompense of God. He will come and save you."
And too determined to be defeated. Romans 8:36-39 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.